Approaching the Threshold

Coming into the kingdom
I was like a man grown old in banishment,
a creature of hearsay and habit, prayerless, porous, a survivor of myself

-Christian Wiman

I've lived now behind
too many doors
to remember, childhood

room with computer
-printed keep out signs,
all the newness and loss

of college dorms, and now
just apartments, quieter
and more expensive each

passing year. Now
I'm still trying to accept
this new mode of living

where I can enter in
to my own tiny kingdom,
adorned in responsibility

like a cheap purple robe,
pretending it's a movie
and I'm in a chase scene,

the rush into an unknown
room with a slammed door
behind me, out of breath

and hoping to be safe.
I'm not sure what to be safe
from, but I think this

is where it's supposed
to happen. I think so.

Thanks for reading! This year I'm writing poems about moving into my first house and dealing with a lot of drama and evolution in this and other parts of my life. We'll see where it goes.