Dan's Poetry Archive

-Dan Gualtieri

Octopi are deeply intelligent.
Their eight tentacles
are capable of juggling
many difficult situations
simultaneously. Some
are capable of changing
color to blend in
with their surroundings.
Octopi use this camouflage
to hide on the ocean floor
and stalk and consume
prey. Octopi have beaks,
acute senses, and arm
spans of up to 14 feet.

I am like the octopus
in all of these ways,
and therefore you should
vote for me.

ALTERNATIVE FACT EDITION:

Octopi are deeply intelligent.
Their eight tentacles
are capable of juggling
many difficult situations
simultaneously. Some
are capable of changing
color to blend in
with their surroundings.
Octopi have beaks,
and arm spans of up to 14 feet.

I am like the octopus
in all of these ways:
very very smart,
capable of signing
up to eight concurrent
bills or executive orders,
and of quickly changing
color to match public opinion
or political expediency.
Finally, I possess a luxurious
mouth, huge piercing eyes,
and a tremendous reach
due to my 14-foot hands.