Society for the Abolition of the Month of August

-Dan Gualtieri

First: it is frequently
very hot.

In addition, for those
of us who profess to be
academics (that is, most
members of our Society),
it represents an ugly
transitional period
in which summer ends
and education resumes,
an uneasy liminal space
which would be altogether
better eliminated.

The name, moreover,
is thoroughly pretentious.
What, we ask, is so august
about this particular month?
We know only that we
do not know.

Finally, the month falls
in the middle of the vile
season of baseball,
a sport which corrupts
our youth and preempts
many airings of our favorite
television programs.

For these and other reasons,
we hereby swear fealty
to each other and dedication
to its total dissolution.